The Guy's Rules

[Borgrimm]

At Last a guy has Taken the time to write this all down.

FINALLY, the guy's side of the story
(I must admit its pretty good)

We always here 'The Rules' From the female side.

Now here are the rules from t he male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE

1. Men are NOT mind readers

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. It its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of i that way.

1. Crying is blakmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
just say it!!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfreinds are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago inadmissible in an arguement. Infact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in 16 colors, like windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A COLOUR
Pumpkin, is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing' we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Whenwe have to go somewhere, absolutly anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, cars, or sex.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape! Round IS a shape!!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the coach tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Samoraz]

This thread = pure win.

[Moofster]

Borgrimm wrote:

1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.

Almost made me fall off my chair of laughter since the females in my family comment my bro on this daily and a guildy has to say “scratch ma ballz” daily too.

Man they should turn this into a holy book. Its just…truth. Every single rule I feel at heart.

[Andromel]

oh i like this,
im tempted to print it and put it on a wall somewhere in the house then all i have to do is point at it when i need to

[Moofster]

Thinking on posting it on a wall at my work.

[ChrisDiabolik]

Epic! im gonna print it and post it on the wall!

[Lightmane]

If this dropped in WoW this clearly would be an artifact item

[Vilhelmiina]

Posting on a legendary thread.


-Naha.

[Teeboppity]

Andromel wrote:

oh i like this, im tempted to print it and put it on a wall somewhere in the house then all i have to do is point at it when i need to

No no no... the way to go about this is to have a cross-stitch pattern made of it and have her mother do it for you to frame and hang on the wall... seriously.

[Gemrah]

if i could be arsed... i so would do that for someone... who I have no idea mind...

[Phreaker]

Me? ^_^